Dear Will and Kate,
Hello there my fellow countrymen! I hope you’re having a fantastic time in New York City – it’s a bit busier than Wales, isn’t it? I know you’ve got a pretty packed schedule, but if I may, can I suggest some other spots you might like?
First up, take my advice and please don’t travel by taxi. The traffic – and drivers – are unpredictable, so travel by subway instead. It’s hands down the best way to get around the city, but whatever you do, don’t get in the empty carriage – otherwise you might get more of a New York education than I feel you’re ready for.
For a brisk morning, jump on the Staten Island Ferry. Not only does it give you fantastic views of the city in a 40-minute return journey, but it’s free – which the British taxpayers will love.
Kate, I know you might need a bit of a rest for the old tum (and George’s future sibling) after a potentially choppy ride, so take a moment at one of the city’s parks. My favorite park close to the ferry is the Elevated Acre.
Time for a bite? Whenever I leave New York and go back home to the U.K., the one cuisine I miss is Mexican – it’s just not the same quality. So grab some tacos from a truck (yes, they’re to be trusted). Or if you fancy a sit down, visit a cool little spot in SoHo, Tacombi, to get your fix.
If at any point in the day, you need anything at all, make sure you grace a bodega (they’re the American versions of corner shops/newsagents/offies). Stay away from the chocolate (it’s no Cadbury’s) and instead try an egg cream.
It wouldn’t be a successful trip unless you took back some cracking presents for George, so jump on the 6 train and head to FAO Schwarz – the best toy store in town. And while you’re in that neck of the woods, be sure to stop for snaps at the Rockefeller Christmas Tree or head a little further north to pose with the Naked Cowboy in Times Square.
For the start of the night, it’s only right that you go to Johnny Utah’s for a true American experience. You can ride the mechanic bull, Will, while Kate cheers and snacks on dishes including ‘The Cowboy’ and ‘The Jessie James’. Then for afters, you have to visit the American equivalent of a British pub – a dive bar. The diviest are over in the East Village – try Lit Lounge. Whatever you do, make sure it’s in stumbling distance (for you Will) of a 2 Bros Pizza. No boozy New York night is the same without it.
Alternatively, jump back on the subway and head to Williamsburg – it’s pretty busy these days, but I think it’s a great introduction to Brooklyn for a visitor. While you’re there, head to Gutter for a night of retro bowling and Brooklyn lager. And although you won’t be near a 2 Bros, you are right by Vinnie’s Pizzeria, so head there and grab a slice (and enjoy the puns).
Then it’s probably time to call it a night. I’ll bend my rules a little here… skip the subway, jump in a cab and marvel at the skyline by night as you travel across the bridge back into the city.
And of course, if you’re feeling sorry for yourself the next day, don’t forget about Seamless!
Have a great trip, and any questions, let me know.
P.s. If you recognize my name, maybe it’s because we went to university together? Will, you might remember me from the time where I was bursting for the loo in the student union and, quite rudely pushed past you. Let me take the opportunity to apologize – I wasn’t in my right frame of mind. Although, I must say those sharp elbows have come in handy here in New York…
h/t to Justin for the idea for this post.